March 2012
2 posts
5 tags
“I recently saw a dude wearing a chain with a woman’s engagement ring on...”
– DA
8 tags
Jesus Piece of Ass
Sex with Catholics suck. It has nothing to do with their religious beliefs and everything to do with their choice of jewelry. That’s right, the Jesus piece. That omnipresent neck trinket whose popularity spans the world. We can all count numerous people who wear Jesus on the cross, around their neck. It is a symbol of belief and strength, a pillar of faith for billions. It is also, one of...
January 2012
1 post
3 tags
“People who ate chips and soda for breakfast as kids, are probably multiple baby...”
– DA
December 2011
2 posts
2 tags
WatchThis song is still the joint. To this day, if I hear this song, I WILL go nuts. Jane Child, in 1989, you composed one of the illest songs ever! Thank you.
PS. It’s more than 20 years later. I hope you’ve taken out that earring-nose-connector thing. That wasn’t ill.
5 tags
Things I Learned on Black Friday
1. White folks will wear pajama pants, house slippers and backward caps anywhere, at any time.
2. Having a Jamaican voice on the GPS never gets old. A yardie giving directions makes me laugh every time.
3. The employees at the Tim Hortons in Vineland, ON are ALL white! Amazing! I don’t I’ve seen that in 20 years!
November 2011
1 post
2 tags
WatchRIP Heavster. Nuttin’ But Love…
October 2011
2 posts
3 tags
Misquote
On Snoop Doggy Dogg’s “G-Funk Intro”, I always thought Lady of Rage said “…cause I’m the Liverpool murderer.” It’s actually “lyrical murderer.” Oops.
2 tags
The DUSTY version of the movie "Hall Pass"
Wifey: I’m giving you a week off of marriage. I’m giving you a hall pass.
Dusty: Okay.
(One week later)
Wifey: So, did you use your hall pass?
Dusty: Yup, sure did.
(The End)
September 2011
2 posts
5 tags
WatchThis joint is surprisingly hot. Anytime you listen to a song from an actor, it’s usually done with a grain of salt but this tune from Idris Elba aka Stringer Bell from “The Wire” is really a nice tune. It probably doesn’t hurt that 9th Wonder produced the track. Check it and holla back.
2 tags
“ethnic restaurant + ZERO of that ethnicity eating in the restaurant = a...”
– Dusty
August 2011
2 posts
Seeing Drake’s sweater on the VMAs makes me think that Heathcliff Huxtable is bound and gagged in his home office wearing just an undershirt.
2 tags
“If you wear a winter hat in the summer, it’s probably because you’re...”
– Dusty
July 2011
2 posts
3 tags
“Why you the fuck you calling me?
Why you the fuck you calling me?
Why you the...”
– heard on the streets of Lefrak, Queens USA
3 tags
June 2011
4 posts
3 tags
“It’s really extra sad when someone hot dies.”
– M, as told to Dusty
2 tags
Pushin' Buttons
Y’all need to push the buttons on your keyboard and check out these dope, dope blogs! “Big Ghost Chronicles” is not written by Ghostface but it’s completely in his voice (Yall niggas are baby thighs, son!) while “Rappers Looking Like Magicians” takes most of your favourite rappers and catches them at the moment where they’re looking like David Copperfield.
Watch1. To quote Chris Rock, “I love black people but I hate nuccas.”
2. Why wasn’t there ever a song like this for BiWay? I realize the aisles were quite narrow but they could have at least shook their ass in front of the Kool-Aid. The first two women who are down to shoot a BiWay booty tribute video gets two cans of Schneiders Vienna sausages and a pack of TDK metal cassettes.
...
May 2011
5 posts
3 tags
3 tags
knight*rid*er
[nahyt-rahy-der] –noun
1. a woman (usually caucasian) who exclusively enjoys African-American men for fornication or dating.
(term courtesy of C. Dragon/definition courtesy of Dusty)
Remember back in the day at school when you went to shit and the stalls only had the toilet paper in single sheets? I haven’t seen that in years! You’d have to create a web of toilet paper around your hand, in order to properly wipe. Man, high school bowel movements sucked.
2 tags
“I hate when dudes pull the sleeves of their tracksuit jacket up to their elbows....”
– Dusty
2 tags
I hate chicks with fake nails. They’re so fucking impractical. Have you looked at these women try to function in their everyday life? They look ridiculous! Look at them try to work a Blackberry or laptop. Hilarious. And have you seen them drive? It’s like riding shotgun in an Astrovan with Wolverine when he’s angry. I’m going to say it and some of you Lee-Press-On devotees might not like it: if...
April 2011
5 posts
3 tags
WatchI really miss this show. These people were willing to spit truths on national television, regardless of who they hurt in the process. We need to bring this joint back. Are you with me?
(video courtesy of EbaumsWorld)
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
My New Favourite Basketball Blog. Dope. →
March 2011
7 posts
4 tags
“DUSTY: “So I’m going to see Raekwon The Chef”
WIFEY:...”
– Me, trying to explain to wifey that I was going to see Wu-Tang Clan legend Raekwon in concert then trying to clarify that he was a rapper and not an actual chef.
A quick mental exercise.
3 tags
PP #5
Old people on the TTC
I understand you’re old. I understand you want to sit down on the bus. But do not think that even for a split second, Mrs. Old Chinese Woman, that I will let you get on the bus in front of me. And DO NOT try the “I’m-old-and-ricketty-and-don’t-speak-english-so-I-don’t-know-any-better” scam. Get in line like everyone else. I am not above...
3 tags
PP #4
Non-ghetto people using the term “ghetto”
You should only be allowed to use this term if you a) have ever lived in or near Ontario Housing or b) if Jim Junkin or Jojo Chintoh have ever shot a story in front of your townhouse, building or complex.
Otherwise, shut the fuck up and find something else cute to say.
2 tags
Pet Peeve #3
White girls who live on a diet of nothing but black men…until it’s time to get married.
Why does that bother you, Dusty? I’m glad you asked. Listen here, I’ve known a few white girls in my time and waaaaay too many of them will swear to be exclusive BMW’s (black man’s woman) but when it’s time to be a bride, it’s white boy Roy on their side. You...
3 tags
Pet Peeve #2
People who publicly publish their feelings on Facebook when honestly, it would just be easier to call the person.
“Hey so-and-so, thanks for being such a great boyfriend. I really appreciate it.”
“I really wanted to tell you that you’re the coolest sister ever.”
“Hey wifey, I just wanted to say thank you for organizing the best birthday party ever.”
...
2 tags
Pet Peeve #1
People who spit in garbage cans.
You nasty, vile disgusting animal. Can you not find a patch of grass or a gutter to spit on? Next time I need to let loose a loogie, I’m gonna do it on your bed.
February 2011
8 posts
2 tags
“Your mama is somebody’s freak.”
– Bomani Jones on Score 98’s “The Morning Jones”
4 tags
Hip-hop's Near Misses
Just learned that Hov was supposed to be on “Platinum Plus” with Big Daddy Kane and Big L. Can a classic elevate itself to a masterpiece?
2 tags
Things White People Like
Naming their kids and animals the same way: by using last names.
Jackson, Carson, Simpson, Crosby, Regan, Carter, Brady, Bradley, Clinton, Cooper, Riley, Miller, Montana, Baker, Franklin, Marley and Murphy. Scan through your white friends and I guarantee that they have either a dog, cat or child with one of those names or something similar. It works great for white people, not so great for...
2 tags
Things Black People Like
Using bad grade 4 French to name their children.
See, you just start with a regular name like Michael, Andre or Tanya. Then just add a Le, La, De, Da, L’ or D’ to the start of the name and voila, you have a black name!
Oh you fancy huh? No, you’re just setting up your kid for a life of “yo, they tryin’ to hold me down and I don’t know why.” I’ll tell you why D’Antonio...
3 tags
“Old people are assholes. You can play 9 consecutive hours of slots then expect...”
– Dusty
1 tag
January 2011
4 posts
3 tags
Pubic Speaking
I like to think of myself as a strong supporter of my friends and all of their endeavours. If they have an apparel company, I’ll buy the clothes. If they teach, I’ll come in and speak. The line has to be drawn somewhere, though. That line starts at about my waistline. See my friend Teri*, like most women, has regular appointments with an esthetician. Thing is, her esthetician is a best friend from...
2 tags
Am I the only person who plays the game, “If I were trapped on this train, who would I fuck?”
November 2010
5 posts
Bold #18: Whether a rock band has been around for 3 months or 30 years, they’ll always be a girl ready to blow the drummer.
#17: bus drivers are assholes. You SEE me running for the bus yet you look the other way and drive off. No wonder people punch you in the fucking face.
